


Breathe || Haikyuu!!

by bubshie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, One-Shot, fluff????, idek mostly angst lols-, slight atsumu/reader but mostly platonic, suna kinda cute doe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubshie/pseuds/bubshie
Summary: [ Suna Rintarou x Reader ]Love him, even when it hurts.Now, take a deep breath.The pain will numb soon.There’s nothing to worry about.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader, Suna Rintarou/Reader
Kudos: 33





	1. DISCLAIMER

**DISCLAIMER.**

(A/N): This book is written by _BUBSHIE._ It is a work of fiction, a fan-fiction to be specific. Therefore, the franchise or series I based my idea from is not mine.

_Haikyuu!!_ does not belong to me, nor the characters in said series. They all belong to Haruichi Furudate.

Only OCs that I _might_ use and the concept and the fan-fiction are mine.

** _DO NOT STEAL OR PLAGIARIZE MY WRITING._ **

I wrote this for everyone’s entertainment, inspiration, interests, motivation, etc. Any names, brands, places, events, and other nouns to be mentioned that exist in real life are typed in without knowledge. I apologize in advance in case I mention a name considered offensive or depressing.

Before you proceed with the book or click away, thank you so much for even clicking and I'm very glad to have interested you, even if not by much. Follows, comments and support is much appreciated. Thank you for reading and please enjoy! I hope to not disappoint.

**_WARNINGS_ **will be typed capitalized, bolded, italicized and underlined if necessary to avoid triggering audiences of certain topics.

* * *

** EXTRA INFORMATION: **

  * This was written months prior to its publication.



  * This is a one-shot — meaning it only has _one_ chapter.



  * This is a _Hanahaki Disease AU_ — and in case you don't know what _Hanahaki Disease_ is, it is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated. 



  * Also posted on [Quotev](https://www.quotev.com/bubshie).



  * Book cover was edited by me — edited on [Pixlr](https://pixlr.com/x/). It is a very flexible and useful app for editing, not only limited to book covers. For the picture, I don't know who drew the picture I used, I only found it on _Pinterest_. If you all know, please tell me so I can properly credit them!



  * If you don't like it, click away.



* * *

** KEY POINTS: **

(Y/n) – your name

(L/n) – last name

(E/c) – eye color

(H/l) – hair length

(H/c) – hair color

(F/c) – favorite color

(2F/c) – second favorite color

(F/f) – favorite food

More will be added along the way depending on the chapter!

Constructive criticism is welcome and much appreciated! Questions can be asked down in the comment section.

With that said, please enjoy the book!

Read more from bubs:

[published.](https://www.quotev.com/bubshie/published)


	2. BREATHE.

You’d always thought love was a beautiful thing. It was something worthwhile, something to be treasured and cherished. Something that not a lot can be granted to by life so easily.

It was hard work, effort and commitment to someone.

Devotion, what a beautiful word.

Attachment, what a beautiful word.

Loyalty, what a beautiful word.

Love, however, was an otherworldly beauty that none could ever compare. It was the full set of all these things. And it was _breathtaking_.

It was all so complicated yet also so simple — connected to it are a bundle of positive words that’d make someone’s day better than it already is.

Your eyes would sparkle merely at someone mentioning it. A smile would stretch upon your face as you beamed at others, your lips parting into a wide grin as you continued to ramble on about how amazing and fluttery it would be to fall in love.

Your parents would smile at you, the apples of their cheeks rosy as they leaned into each other, fantasizing about how their child would meet their one and only.

It would most likely be soon — their dearest daughter was now an energetic and kind seventeen-year old now, after all. You would be eighteen in two months and the small family was excited.

And soon it did.

Enrolling into the Hyogo Prefecture’s Inarizaki High, you were granted to the biggest, most life-changing opportunity in your life.

Meeting your one true love, your soulmate, your other half. You name it.

You had finally met a or _the_ person that you believed would _complete_ you.

Screams thundered the school hallways and you perked right up, stiffening as you heard footsteps hitting the tiles of the floor. You turned around slowly and although there were masses of bodies blocking the whole view, you still got a glance of it.

Familiar jet-black hair, the bangs parted to both sides to keep them from obstructing his line of vision. His hair was smooth and soft, you’d seen it bounce a lot whenever he goes to jump and block an opponent from spiking the volleyball into their side of the court. Tall, lean and slightly muscular, looming over all the onlookers as he stood nearly at one-ninety-something centimeters — fresh out of the school’s gym, his team jacket wrapped around his body cozily. He was dry from any sweat and was instead smelling of men cologne. You thought for a second it could be the troublemaker between the Miya twins that forced him to wear it.

His eyes, slanted and amber. The pair of eyes that you love the most, so much that you thought it was intoxicating. Piercing right through your soul with just one look. His bored glare was easy to make you swoon, even just for a split second. His lips that looked so tempting to kiss right then and there. Soft and thin, rose-colored and pink, yet so delightfully cute for a guy like him. And when they’d form into a pout, you wanted nothing more than to squish his cheeks and pepper his face with pecks and kisses.

His hands — calloused and rough, but at the same time, it appeared so smooth. Would your hands fit well in his? Were your hands cute and small for him to like? Looking down at yours, you wondered if they’d feel safe covered in his, intertwined lovingly as he tightens his hold on you. The image simply brought you to embarrassment and you shook away those impure thoughts before you could get any further than that.

And last but not least, his expression — oh-so uninterested. Despite that rather unappealing face he was making right now, it didn’t fail to make you flustered. It still made you weak on your knees. Perhaps that was because his bored look was his trademark expression and you thought it made him look gorgeous and cool. You didn’t think you were into the mysterious-cool persona until Suna Rintarou.

Ah yes.

Above all else, the name of your crush — Suna Rintarou, a second-year and your classmate.

He walked along with the rest of his team, his shoes thudded on the ground. His eyes met yours and you flinched, but a small smile curved onto his face as he waved over at you, his legs beginning to walk over in your direction.

“(Y/n)-san,”

Your heart thumped loudly in your ribcage and you inhaled abruptly, the sharp intake of breath sending your lungs into a spiral. Your head was a mess, dozens, hundreds, thousands — maybe even millions of thoughts clumpered into your mind as you asked yourself multiple questions all at once, not even answering a single one.

_Did you look okay?_

_Is he walking over to you?_

_Why are Atsumu and Osamu looking at you like that?_

_Was Suna happy to see you too?_

_Did he miss you?_

_Were you panicking too much?_

_Were you overthinking this?_

The thoughts scribbled onto your head and you were very much tempted to write them all down onto one blank sheet of paper to answer them all down and pretend it was some stupid survey test.

Your heart continued racing in both anticipation and nervousness, your throat clogged with anxiety as your stomach rippled in excitement and enthusiasm.

Your eyes met his and your knees felt like thin glass, unable to hold themselves up properly in front of him. You forced your nerves to strengthen, expecting them to be alright since one more attack from him, it’d certainly put you at your coffin so early.

And finally, you took a breath out.

Suna smiled at you, minuscule but it was there — just for you to see.

The world looked a bit brighter now.

It was colorful, you felt calmer now.

It was… beautiful.

“Hey.” He spoke to you, and once again your ‘nerves of steel’ had wistfully crumbled to nothing as you began shaking like a wet dog in a sudden rain again.

You wrinkled a smile of your own, elated to see him. “Hi,” you breathed out.

Suna looked down a bit, seeing the books you were holding to your chest. “Oh, do you need help with that?”

_‘I-Is he offering to help me with my things? Isn’t that one of the most shoujo-manga things to do??’_ You froze, your thoughts making sure to ruin your life just before you could respond, shaking your head.

“(Y/n)-san?” He called, blinking and patiently waiting for a response.

Just as you were about to respond, another voice cuts in.

“Oi, (Y/n)-chan, you’re not going to help anybody by standing there like an idiot, y’know?” The copper-haired second-year, the well-known and popular Miya Atsumu had made his way to you with a mocking expression on his face.

Your mood dropped below negative and you faced the smug boy who looked at you with a smirk.

“Atsumu-kun.” You addressed him with a clear in your throat, giving him a poker face that said ‘what do you want?’. “How may I help you?”

He casually slings an arm around your shoulder, a daringly handsome grin plastered on his face as echoes of dozens of their female fans resonated across the hallways, eliciting you to cover your ears to avoid losing your ability to hear.

The girls were so loud, it was comparable to the daily amount of noise Atsumu and his group make off club hours.

“How about that date, manager-chan?” He smiles at you innocently.

But they were your team as you were their manager, and you treasured them all.

“No thanks.” You huffed, turning back to Suna. “And Suna-kun, yeah, thank you for offering. Hope it’s not too much a bother.” You giggled awkwardly, a blush profound on your cheeks as you handed him half the stack you were holding.

The brunette blinked at you before wordlessly taking the rest in your hands.

You gaped at him, about to protest and take back your own just to lighten a bit of the load but he raised a hand slightly. “It’s fine.”

“Wow, I’m being ignored.” Atsumu pouts, removing his own arm himself instead of waiting for you to push it away.

“Sucks to be you, ‘Tsumu.” Osamu snickers from behind, swiftly avoiding a kick from behind by his twin that would’ve been delivered securely had Osamu not expected it.

You grabbed the last of your things and closed your locker shut, a soft sigh escaping past your lips as you gave a flushed smile towards your friends.

“Shall we?” You smiled, an arm lifted just beside you as if gesturing them to go on ahead — similar to a waiter providing service to a customer.

Atsumu’s brows jumped, “On that date?”

“No…? To class, you idiot.” You lightly bonked his head, scoffing as he played along with it, yelping and shouting out ‘you _know_ you want to go on that date’.

Suna followed right behind while Osamu went ahead. Eventually, all four of you reached your classroom — bickering about the idiot who accidentally left their bento at home.

That ‘idiot’ happened to be you.

“It wasn’t my fault!” You defended, pouting at them with crossed arms as you leaned back onto your chair.

Atsumu rose a brow with a scoff. “Yes, it was. What idiot leaves their lunch box in plain sight and _still_ doesn’t see it?”

You growled, “I’m not an idiot!”

“Mhm, keep telling yourself that.” Atsumu chuckles before turning to his brother. “Oi, ‘Samu, are you going to be the one buying her lunch or me?”

His twin simply shrugs, “Why not decide over rock paper scissors?”

“Cool,” Atsumu shrugs nonchalantly and turns to his classmate, “Suna, c’mon.”

Suna’s brows furrowed, “I’m part of this?”

You turned to him confused, “You’re not?” You’d have expected him to participate with no complaint or word from him at all. That was how he is, after all. He didn’t care too much about it because he was already used to the Miya twins’ shenanigans that he’d given up on them.

He faced you, his expression seemingly guilty. “Well, it’s kind of hard to explain…”

Osamu and Atsumu leaned forward from their tables, interested in what their dearest usually-quiet boy had to say since this was rather unusual.

You, too, indirectly put pressure on his shoulders by staring at him expectantly. The nervousness was getting to him and he wanted to get it over with.

“I like someone and I don’t really want to make it seem like I’m already in a relationship with (Y/n)-san,” Suna exhaled, a blush prominent on his cheeks, “this girl I started liking just recently… she’s in Class 5. Her name’s Amari Sou and—”

You couldn’t hear anything further than that.

You felt like your throat was clogged by something, but it wasn’t out of nervousness or anxiety. It was something else. Your heart that once raced so fast, you thought it would explode — it no longer thumped in love. Your mind that was panicking shifted into a blank, empty space.

You were just there.

His words going into one ear and then right out of the other.

Chills went up your arm and your spine as you resisted the urge to cry right then and there, your breathing ragged and turning into painful wheezing as you slowly found yourself _suffocating_.

You started to cough and it alerted the three boys near you, their expressions alarmed and worried as they thought something serious was happening to you.

And maybe it was.

You could be sick.

You continued to cough, the coughing fit was dry so it hurt so much more — as if a thousand needles were prickling at your throat and esophagus. It was so _painful_. It was excruciatingly painful.

Both emotionally and physically.

Your world no longer looked bright — the colors flickered from with life to darkness. You fell into a panic, the warmth disappearing into oblivion.

And for once… love wasn’t beautiful.

“O-Oi, (Y/n)-chan, are you okay??” Atsumu was the first to react, the other two’s lips zipped shut as they couldn’t comprehend what was going on with you. You were just happy and joking around with them a second ago, what happened?

Your coughing was starting to get worse, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you started to choke something out.

The rest of your classmates had begun to circle around you four in curiosity and concern.

Tears leaked from your eyes and you vomited out blood.

Crimson, vermilion, scarlet, an ironically alluring shade of velvet-colored blood—it fell on the floor and both Suna and Osamu had to stand up abruptly from their seats in horror as they witnessed one of their close friends puke out _blood_.

The stench was agonizingly disturbing and everyone in the classroom panicked.

It was a disgusting sight.

You felt like crying. You wanted to get away from here. Anywhere but here. It was getting harder to breathe.

Your throat hurt.

Your heart hurt.

Everything fucking hurt.

Tears were blurring your vision and you hastily wiped the tears away with your uniform’s sleeve, but alas, they just keep on coming, refusing to stop and you simply let them fall, mixing in with the intimidating color of _your_ blood.

One tug on Atsumu’s sleeve was all it took to knock him back to reality and he turned to you with a gentle expression.

“(Y/n)-chan…” Atsumu stared at you in worry, his expression morphing into that of determination as he turns to the audience not even bothering to do anything. “Can’t you useless dumb fucks do anything!? How’s about you stop whispering and muttering crap and help out!?”

Scared to be beaten to a pulp (which most likely wouldn’t happen unless Atsumu truly felt pissed), the audience vanishes bit by bit and the class representative went to get a teacher from the faculty room.

“Atsumu—” Suna tried to talk but the bronze-haired male wouldn’t let him.

“Just keep your ass on the chair, Suna. I’ll be back.” His tone was sharp and stern but as he spoke again to you, his tone of voice was much softer and gentler. “C’mon, (Y/n)-chan, let’s get you into a comfort room.”

The lanky brunette fell to his seat indeed and continued to stare at the puddle of blood laying beneath his shoes.

It was sticky, he almost puked himself at the sight.

Osamu gulped, concerned. “I hope she’ll be alright…” The gray-haired male speaks out for both of them.

Suna was quiet, his eyes trained on the liquid just under his feet. And from his peripheral vision, he caught sight of a small circle. Or was it something else? It appeared thick enough to not be soaking wet from the blood, but it didn’t seem to be paper or anything of the sort.

His hands shook, lowering his head a bit to examine the material on the floor. It was just _one_ little thing, he shouldn’t be worrying. But it just looked so out of place that Suna couldn’t help but fret over it.

And just right above it, he observed. He noticed. And if he wasn’t looking close enough, he could’ve mistaken it for a scrap of paper.

But looking directly at it, Suna’s heart beat loudly at the realization that it was a _petal_.

A _flower petal_.

Silk, white with a tint of pink and incredibly smooth to the touch.

A single flower petal laid so noticeably over all the blood that scattered the floor and despite how innocent it may appear without context, the theme itself appeared so ominous and suggestive — in a bad way.

* * *

Your figure shook with every breath you took which would then later be unbalanced your shaking wouldn’t be going on the same pace as your hard breathing.

Your hands trembled horribly, you felt like the blood was there right in your hands and it was scaring you.

The water ran from the faucet and you let it be, the clear liquid going down the drain without any clogs. While it was open, you opened your palms to catch some of it and splash the water onto your face to cool your head.

“… Suna-kun… likes someone else.” You bit your bottom lip, tears coming again to haze your vision.

And as if on cue, the coughing started again and you hunched forward, your face positioned right above the sink as you got ready to puke out more blood.

And you did — the same horrifying color of red dyed the once-pure transparent hue of water itself. And there was something else, something along with it. And to your utter surprise, there were _flower petals_.

But it was too fast for the eye could see, the blood along with what you assumed to be flower petals had dripped down the drain due to the running water. You weren’t sure if what you saw was right or not, but nevertheless, you were sure you’d coughed out something _with_ the blood.

And the thought scared you.

Your stomach felt empty, rigged and lacking any food at all even though you ate breakfast this morning. You supposed it was because of you incessantly vomiting out blood with what seemed to be a familiar kind of flower.

A knock on the restroom’s door interrupted your train of thought and you hurriedly spun the faucet handle, closing the sink.

“You okay there, (Y/n)-chan?” Atsumu’s voice was muffled from the other side but you heard him clearly.

You cleared your throat a bit, your eyes puffy and red from crying and choking — shaking your head lightly as you breathed out softly. “Yeah… I’m fine.” You responded, opening the door and greeted by the worried face of Miya Atsumu.

Never in your life had you thought you’d be able to see the usually-smug blonde so panicky in all your life.

“T-That’s good… how are you?” He asked, just to make sure.

You raised a hand slightly, “I’m okay…” You trailed off, your eyes casted down in a blank slate. “But, I don’t think I’ll be safe here at school. I’ll call my parents to take me home.”

Atsumu sighs in relief, “Yeah, that would be better. I’ll take notes for you.”

You nodded gratefully, “Thanks.”

“Well, you should head to the nurse, just for a last-minute checkup. I’ll get back to the classroom and fetch you your bag. I’ll meet you there then—?” The boy suggested but your hand didn’t let him go so easily.

Your index finger and thumb were gripping onto the cuffs of his uniform, your eyes teary as you prevented him from leaving instantly.

“… Did I scare everyone?” Your voice shook, you definitely hated being the source of attention, and even more so if it did nothing to help others. And just your luck, it happened so that you did more trouble than good earlier.

How fantastic.

Atsumu frowns. He wanted to tell you that you didn’t, but he knew it won’t do any good. He obviously knew you’d prefer it if he were honest or else he’d just piss you off and cause you to get even more stressed. That was the last thing he’d wanted to do to you.

He breathed out. “Yeah, you did.”

Your grasp on him loosened, your heart beginning to ache once more. The tears had come to roll down your cheeks as your free hand went to cover the lower half of your face in disbelief and frustration.

“Please tell them I’m sorry.” You bowed with whatever strength was left in you. It took everything in Atsumu not to hug you right then and there, despite how out-of-character it would be for him.

He nods, “I will.”

* * *

Your condition had gotten better over the past few days, there was no mistaking that. Your pallid complexion had returned to its usual color and you were no longer struggling with breathing. You’d made a little note in a small pad, trying to find out the reason why you just suddenly barked out blood and all that.

And you did.

Despite your parents’ protests about you digging into the whole thing yourself, they insisted to take you to a doctor. You let them, however the doctors were unable to find the problem. They said there was nothing wrong with you.

Something you didn’t believe.

If there was anything you picked up yourself, it was that whenever you thought about your dear crush — it was that you would bend over forward and vomit once more.

This time, you had pretty much gotten used to it. Your throat had adjusted to the amount of times you’d throw up blood that it no longer hurt as much, or maybe it was just because you never bothered to care anymore.

Amari Sou and Suna Rintarou.

Those were two names that made your temperature rise so bad, thermometers might explode from how hot it would be.

You didn’t even know Suna liked someone — how long had he been keeping this to himself? When had he started to crush on this ‘Amari Sou’? Was he planning on telling you guys at all?

The questions came in like an intense car chase in an action movie and it only drove you dizzy.

You had also managed to confirm that the white things that you were puking out with the blood was indeed, flower petals. It was weird and rather sinister — white and red would usually be a good pair and together, they’d be pink.

But to you, the sight of _your_ blood and mysterious and uncalled flower petals… they scared you.

Whatever it was you were having now — you figured out the source was you thinking about your seemingly unrequited love with Suna Rintarou.

You paused your thoughts, now sitting in complete silence. Your breathing began to shake as your hands made their way to your throat in an attempt to numb the pain.

It was starting again, and everything hurt.

Before you could suffer any longer, thankfully, a ring from your house’s doorbell had snapped you out of your potentially deathly stupor and you inhaled air sharply. Your legs made their way to the door — you peeked in through the peeping hole and saw familiar faces, your hands gracefully opening the piece of wood blocking you from your friends.

The moment you swift it wide open, Atsumu had already been on your face asking you multiple questions all at once. It was causing a headache and you gently pushed him away by the cheek, your brows furrowed from the ruckus he was causing.

“Kita-san’s asking how you are and that he delivers his wishes of good health.” Suna smiles at you. “We hope you’re doing alright too, (Y/n)-san.”

Your heart pinched raw at the sight of his glittering microscopic smile, you strained a grin yourself. The copper-haired twin noticed this exchange and your rather awkward response to Suna’s greeting and decided to whisk you away from his presence.

“So, (Y/n)-chan, did the doctor say anything about your health?” Atsumu tried to make conversation with you, keeping your eyes off of the brunette who seemed to not understand what was going on.

Osamu pulled on the back of his twin’s collar though, realizing he should keep his brother on a short leash because he could be a bit too persistent sometimes.

“Be more mindful of her space, you dumbass. (Y/n)-san doesn’t like you being around her personal circle too much. Especially if she just got back from a fever.” Osamu scoffs, turning to you with an apologetic-enough expression.

“I know that! I wasn’t _too_ close,” he turned to you, his face looking like a puppy waiting to be picked up by his owner, “right, (Y/n)-chan?~”

You cringed at his expression and waved his question off dismissively, earning a chuckle from Osamu.

“Let’s not waste any time here on the front door. Come in, my mom prepared some onigiri for us as snacks.” You gestured to the living room where a ceramic plate was already sitting and on it were freshly cooked rice balls.

Your friends plopped on the sofa in sync and you would’ve laughed at their synchronization had you not been experiencing some unpleasing events such as vomiting blood and _flower petals_. And it appeared from your observations that the reason could be Suna Rintarou.

“You guys want some tea?” You asked them politely, your hands interlocked together as you waited for their separate replies.

Atsumu raised a hand excitedly, “You got any soda?”

You rose a brow, “Will juice suffice?”

“I want coke!” He whines like a child, earning a groan from three of you — Osamu, Suna and you, of course.

You crossed your arms, your eyes narrowing at him, “Alright, that’s on your allowance then. I’m going to make a quick trip to the convenience store. Money out, Atsumu-kun.” You grin mischievously, your palm flat open as you waited for him to slap the yen onto your hands.

The setter glared at you, “This isn’t how you’re supposed to be treating guests!”

“Money. Out.” You smiled innocently.

“Alright then, she-devil.” Atsumu mutters before bringing out the money and putting them into your hand.

You hummed contently and leaned back, “Well, I’ll be back in a jiffy. Suna-kun, I trust you to keep an eye on—”

“Actually…” The middle blocked begins, standing up from the couch. All three of you stared at Suna’s figure in curiosity, wondering what he had to say. “I’ll go with you, (Y/n)-san.”

Osamu snorted, “That’s some pretty darn good excuse to run away from us, Suna.”

Suna merely shrugged, “Is it?”

Your heart raced fast, your hands twitching when he offered to go with you. “A-Are you sure? You don’t want to chill here with Atsumu-kun and Osamu-kun?”

“Pretty sure.” He confirms.

You swallowed a lump in your throat thickly, “But, some guy time, y-you know?” You couldn’t keep the stuttering in. You really wanted him to stay.

He narrowed his eyes at you in suspicion, noticing how much you wanted him to stay put in the house with the twins. Suna, again, reassured you that it was better to have someone with you — that there’s a possibility something bad might happen to you again, especially with your condition currently fresh out of a bad one.

The two twins noticed this too, of course. It wasn’t even _trying_ to be obscure. The atmosphere grew thick and uncomfortable that your eyes traveled over to your last saving grace — ironically, it was Atsumu.

He seemed to get the message, Osamu too. The copper-haired male rose his hand up high, a grin on his face that betrayed what he was really feeling. “How about _I_ go accompany our precious manager-chan?” His tone was lighthearted and easygoing, it was hard to believe that he was actually all in to getting out of that cramped air.

You immediately jumped at his offer. “Yeah, I think Atsumu-kun would be a better man to keep me safe, you know?” You said a little too quickly, grabbing the male’s wrist and dragging him out the door with you, not even letting Suna say a word.

You shut the door behind you with a gentle slam, Atsumu flinching right next to you as he gave you a concerned expression.

Perhaps it was childish of you to avoid him like this.

But you didn’t know how else to solve it.

You couldn’t accept it — him having feelings for another girl so easily. Two years of your life had been spent daydreaming about what it’d be like to be his as he would be to yours. That he would only be yours to hold and kiss; only for his to smile at; only for you to commit to.

For all that to go down the drain, it felt like all your energy was wasted chasing after a man who never even loved you back.

Looking back on it, did he even show any signs of reciprocating your feelings? Or were you just reading into his actions too much?

When you were sick, he visited often with snacks and notes from class. When you were down, he’d make stupid jokes to make you laugh. Whenever you would play some stupid skit, he would go along with your dumb shit and would laugh at your antics. When you would forget your lunch, he’d give his or buys you a meal with his own money. Every time you’d sit next to him, he’d shuffle closer. When it poured, he’d give his umbrella to you so _he_ gets wet instead.

You feel yourself stop stomping away from your house.

How were you supposed to see _those_ then?

Did he purposely rose your hopes up? _‘He wouldn’t do that—stop being ridiculous, (Y/n).’_

You felt your heart tighten, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you fell to the ground on your knees. Atsumu stood a little further away from you, an unsure frown present on his lips as he simply watched.

“Atsumu-kun,” you sniffled, making the male perk at the mention of his name, “I-I think… I think I’ll go on that date with you.”

A distraction sounds nice.

Atsumu’s frown deepened. “(Y/n)-chan, don’t force yourself. Besides, that date was only a joke to make fun of you…” The more he validated, the more he winced, realizing those weren’t the right words you needed to hear right now. “S-Sorry.”

Of course — not even the school’s troublemaker would waste his time with you. Even if it’s just for a short while.

“… it’s alright.”

It wasn’t alright.

You hastily wiped at the tears that rolled down your cheeks, “Let’s go get those beverages. We can’t keep the others waiting too long.” You forced yourself to give him a smile.

You’ll get over it soon, right?

Atsumu clenched his fists at the sight of your pained expression, but he didn’t say anything. Would it have been better if Suna was actually the one to accompany you? But it really seemed like you didn’t want to be anywhere near the middle blocker right now.

It was better that way.

You bit back the flower petals that tempted to throw itself out of your clogged throat again. But you couldn’t hold it in, resulting in Atsumu carrying you on his back, back to your house and immediately dialing your parents.

* * *

“Amari-san, I like you. G-Go out with me?” Suna’s voice was heard loud and clear. The day was clear, the sun was beginning to set. The cherry blossom petals breezed around the pair on a cold spring afternoon. It was the most romantic setting his teammates could ever give out for him.

A perfect day for a confession.

It took months until his friends had convinced him to declare his feelings towards the prettiest girl in their grade level — Amari Sou. With a lot of shoving and blackmail here and there, he finally caved in, also because the Miya twins bribed him by saying they’d spread his most embarrassing secret to the whole school by the end of classes if he didn’t confess _now_.

The raven-haired female shuffled her feet awkwardly, averting her eyes from his.

Suna had a raging blush on, bowing practically ninety degrees into a right angle as he desperately wished she would return—

“Sorry… I-I don’t like you that way, Suna-san.” Amari says slowly, unsure how to reject him properly without breaking him. “You’re a great and handsome guy, Suna-san. B-But I think there are other girls better for you than me.”

Ending it at that, she stepped away from him with a guilty expression — one step, two steps, three, four then she ran away, leaving the middle blocker stunned as he stood there with no one else around him.

How humiliating.

You stared at the scenery with blank eyes. _‘Poor Suna’_ , you couldn’t help but think. _‘He was rejected… I don’t understand why. He’s an amazing person.’_

A familiar face sees the back of your head and recognizes you immediately. Atsumu bounces over to you, slinging an arm around you. “Oh! (Y/n)-chan, there you are! ‘Samu and I were looking all over for you.” He glares at you.

You turned to him with narrowed eyes, shushing him so he could tone it down a bit.

“Huh? Why, what’s— _holy shit_ —” He spat profanity, his eyes practically wide like saucers as he sees Suna’s slumped form, the atmosphere around him depressed and upset. “What happened with _him_?” He stared at you with slanted eyes. “And were you _stalking_ him? I knew you had a crush on him but—”

“I don’t like him. I don’t feel anything for him anymore. I just happened to pass by and I decided to see if things would end well for him.” You snorted. “Ended pretty badly; he got rejected by Amari-san.”

Atsumu let out a little ‘yikes’ at your claim. But he paid more attention to your expressions. His lips pressed into a firm line. “You seem to be taking this surprisingly well…”

“I don’t like him.” You repeated.

The copper-haired male crosses his arms. “Didn’t seem like that a few months ago. What happened?” He frowns at you. “Ever since you got back from the hospital, you’d been… kinda distant.”

You simply smiled at him teasingly. “Maybe she died off somewhere~”

“Don’t make such dark jokes! My god, give us back the original (Y/n)!” Atsumu shuddered, punching your shoulder playfully as your laughter echoed across the hallways, walking to the exit of the campus with your best friend who continued to start pointless bickering with you.

* * *

_“Are you sure about this, (Y/n)?” Your mother asks you worriedly. You had been in a bloody coughing fit for more than five minutes already. Just recently, a doctor had called to alert your parents that they’d found out what was hurting you._

_A rarity — the_ **_hanahaki disease_** _. You were suffering from flowers growing in your lungs and suffocating you slowly because of unrequited love. And the only treatment was either for the person to reciprocate your feelings or you undergo surgery to remove the roots._

_And at the expense of your life, you would lose the ability to love._

_Your breath shook, sending a firm nod towards your mom who fretted over your health. Her lip trembled, not very fond of the idea of you losing the only thing you looked forward to everyday, plus the possibility of the operation going downhill in case things go wrong and she loses her only daughter — that’d be the worst-case scenario._

_But at your go-sign, she hesitantly responded to the doctor, contacting him to say to treat you. And they arrived to get you to the hospital before your condition got any worse. They cut off the roots as soon as they could and eventually, what felt like months had passed, the surgery was a complete success._

_When you woke up, it didn’t feel any different._

_You were still you._

_You tried to think of Suna’s face._

_Nothing happened._

_You felt your eyes water. Your fists crumpled the sheets that covered your body, feeling the tears damp the hospital bed. Your heart hurt, for a different reason this time. Not because of Suna, but losing the ability to love._

_You had always thought, after all, that love was a beautiful thing. That it was worthwhile and to be treasured; cherished. Something that not a lot can be granted to by life so easily._

_It was hard work, effort and commitment to someone._

_Devotion, attachment and loyalty — what beautiful words, you remembered quoting before._

_Love, however, was an otherworldly beauty that none could ever compare. It was the full set of all these things._

_And it was **breathtaking**._

_And you threw it all away knowing he would never love you back. That you would love no one else like you did Suna Rintarou._


End file.
